


what

by holyhael



Category: Slash and Burn (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Lemon, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8466661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyhael/pseuds/holyhael
Summary: Steve and Keira have sexsorry, i suck at summaries XD XD XD XD





	

**Author's Note:**

> lotta love for [slash and burn](http://slashandburnpod.tumblr.com/)
> 
> i mostly wrote this while high. i never hit the backspace button.
> 
> peace.

What is ste’ves favor thing to do when he gets home from a long day of work? He likes to jam.

It doesn’t take long, once her starts, for his entire house to start smelling like fruit when he jams. The fragrence wafts in the air from his oven to his bathroom )thank god) and out the front foor, where it travels cross to his neighbor Kera’s door, and when she opens the door to check the mail after sepping in all day, it travels up her nose and to in her brain, and her mouth starts watering like desertificated eras crave.

her man is making jam.

expect he’s not her man. he’s just her neighbor, man.

Kera walks directly from her door to her mailbox and back again without taking in another breath, but by the time she gets to her door her lungs hurt and her face is close to purple. Why is think Pink song stuck in ,y head.

Kira is wearing all black with perfect black eyeliner and perfect obsidian black lipstick. her hwas leg warmers that are black. her skinny jeans hug her body in all the right ways.

So steeve is making Jam, and he’s feeling fine with a beetles song stuck in his head. He often thinks abut Kyra when he listens to romantic love songs. he has been for a while.he doesn’t know why because he’s only met her once, but since then he knew she was his love.

so he bought the house next to hers.

now he’s a couple few thousand dollars in dept.

but noe hw also lives with her shower not three feet from his bedroom wall,.

no this isn;t real life. Why am I tuping this part? I’m ust free conseqnenting this thong. and i’m not using the backspace to correct my lazy fucking ass fingers.

kera does the same thing, and it annows Steve, an intellecual, when tnhey’re texting.

anyway, steve wears panties and he thinks about kira when he gets off wotuh the panties ly ning his 

oh my god. this week is really kickng in. holy shit sholy shit holy shit. this is so much more potent than it was a month ago, same brand. holy fuck

10 minutes later

okay i took a small break.

back to steve and kera.

I’m going to copy/;paste a portion of what i had written before. You’ll be able to tell when I’m back.

If anyone were to write fan fiction about this moment, it occurs to Steve that there would be no issue with pronouns. He and the woman below him identify as opposite ends of the gender spectrum, use opposite pronouns, have different genitals, et cetera. There would be very little confusion and, depending on the skill of the author, very little need to rewind to clear things up. That thought gives him an immense satisfaction, and his expression turns more into a humored smile. Kera notices.

“What?” she asks, fingers stilling on the buttons of Steve’s shirt. Her brow rumples cute fully.

“I was just thinking,” Steve says. He huffs a short laugh. “What if someone was writing fan fiction about us?”

Obviously that wasn’t what Kera was expecting him to say. “Really? You’re thinking about our podcast in the heat of the moment?” She hits him ineffectually on the shoulder, the way friends would joshingly. “Trying to think of pro tips or something?”

“No no no no,” Steve shakes his head. “I’ve got the skills. To pay the bills. Obviously.”

Kera rolls her eyes.

“Just free associating (btv=w this is what i meant when i said “free consequence”). You know how the mind wanders.”

Kera rolls her eyes again, her arms winding up around Steve’s neck and pulling him down closer to her lips. Her bare breasts heaved with her breathes.

“Is the here and now not good enough?” Her tone is faux accusing. Her arms tighten around his neck, evoking the feeling of being constricted by a boa. Steve struggles, in between Kera’s embrase and her kisses, to breathe. The alcohol that fueled the beginning of this dalliance burns in his veins as well as a lack of oxygen.

“No, this is perfect,” Steve says with a gulp.

“Good, because I’m gonna need you to be a good boy.”

he reaches to tuvk a strand of hair behind her ear. {btw this is an au where kira has brown hair. Also i dont remember what she looks like}or thrather i imagine she has brown hair? she sounds like she has brown hair. while she reaches to tug his apnts down. his bare, necked, hairy negs strachtn against ker’as smoothe legs. She shaved for this, he fucking should have done the same thing. Shaved legs would match hi -

“Panties?” Kera looks up from his undersrgemtns clothed penis up to his face. Steve’s cheeks turn as pink as his panties.

Kera sounds betrayed - shocked/accusingly/- he didn’t trust her with his secrets. “I thought you hated them?”  
Steve grimaced. e was hoping she’d never find out. But that would mean them never having sex. or him neveer taking his pants ouf in front of her. and maybe he shpulnd’t dod the laundry cos then she’ll find out.

But now his secret’s house. And so is his ass.

Tes, Steve SLashaAnd Burn actually does wear panties.

I can’t remember the word/s for this phenomena, where you say one thing but mean the other. But that’s what steve does. It’s what he’s been doing for years. Faking hate at the one thing he loved above aklk else., cracking jokes, making fun of people who liked panties too. It was all a farse. Just as big as his arse.

farce farse?

Kera cracks a smile , which heals steve’s cracked heart.

(it had been cracking into a trillion pieces (i just listened to whatever podcast this came from. there was avenge sevenfold fic tho. anyway this is a reference to that)}.

Kera slides a hand up annd down Steve’s erectness . the pad of her finger glazes over the printed Sonic face on the front and center of his Pnantes. His panties have the word tails written across the back. the Sonic is pushed up with the head of his cock and is damp with the cprecome his pensi is producing. There is so much pre. so mych guys

They breathed into each others mouths hotly as Steve got more and more erect and more and more precom squelched out of ihs slit. kera soould smell it in the air and her mouth watered come fmore.

“This is good,” Steve pants. He frenched her hard since he was hard ad they were like frogs the way their tongues touched.

“I love you and your panties,” Kiera said. her words dripped into His ear like water. she licks under his ear, tasting the salt of him and savoriing it and the hair thatcklings to her tongue. 

fuck this is typo hell

steve slobbers all over her neck in return.

{I’m trying to put more liquid kink in here. insert morer|

{help i’ve never had sex before and don’t know what does next). Suggestions welcome!

kera lathed her tongue all over Steve;s panties, edginh him for what feels like hourts, making his panties moist with saliva. She pays most attention to the little lisesized sonic face on the front, and she traces the tail writtten on the back.

And Suddenly steve can’t take it. He yanks Kera down and she plops nto the mattress. He puts his dick in her and does thrusting until he feels close to overloading. he can tell she’s close to bcs her nipples are glowing.

they both overloaded from that alone. she screamed like someone was killing her. Steve screamed like he was the one doing the killing.

“Fuck!” Stebe celaims. he had never come to hard in his entire life. he sees spome of his seed on the outside of Kira’s smatch and horror grows in lim like a weed.

“Fuck he says. His tone is completely (cumpletely) different the second time. he meets kera’s blue orbs and says the curse again.

“What?” Kera inquestions

“we may have forgotten something VERY IMPORTANT. COMDONS!!!! FICK.”

Kyra looks at him lke he’s stupid. “just scope it out, silly,” she says and lowers her head so she’s looking at her come-splattered vagina. she reaches her cupped hand inside her hole and excavates all of steve’s come out so she cannot get preggers.

“what the fuck,” steve exlcaims.

“WQOul yu ike some?” Kera asks, holding up her white hand. her hand is covered in super duper tiny half-humans. steve’s super duper tiny half-humans.

no thanks,” Steve says. He looks uround thuni he finds his panty’s. They’re ruined. Ruined how, i don’t know. but they’re ruined. just like kera and stephen are ruined for any other person but each other.

i’m really sleepy now and i’m done. bye


End file.
